You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
