I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
