You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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