can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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