Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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