People in love make me want to vomit
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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