i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize