the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We are all done wearing pants today
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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