I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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