if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
