She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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