How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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