he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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