what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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