I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
