Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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