So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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