i think my tv is drunk
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize