i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
