I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
