On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
