We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
