The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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