hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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