He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He shit in the fireplace
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
