Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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