WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
