dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
