in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
