so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
