I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
