Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
