Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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