Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
