I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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