Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize