you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's not a walk of shame if you run
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
