i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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