we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
