One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
