Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
