people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
