whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
