There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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