Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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