I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
