i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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