no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize