Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
