my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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