I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
