You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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