So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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