im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize