I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?