remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.