I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
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I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.