before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
