In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
