Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
